Romantic relationships are tricky sometimes. It’s safe to say, there will always be a need for wedding planners and couple’s therapy. Reviewing your guiding archetypes can shed light on why some of your relationships work and why some peter out.
One of my clients, Bianca*, divorced after a 15-year relationship but then found love and her soul-mate. After reviewing her archetypes it became clear as to why the first relationship didn’t last and why her current relationship continues to grow after 10+ years. Bianca de Reus, owner of Auranima, in Sydney is a Reiki Master and Wellbeing Coach. She relocated to Australia from The Netherlands with her Ex because she just felt “at home” there.
Basically an archetype is a repeated energetic pattern. There are 100s, if not 1000s, of archetypes. Since the dawn of time there’s been “kinds of people,” which is actually archetypal energy. One example of this is The King archetype. Today a King’s energy can be felt in leaders, managers, bosses, and decision-makers. Two more perpetual examples are The Mother archetype (care-giving and nurturing) and The Artist archetype (creative expression). Archetypes are represented in movies and television shows with reoccurring roles such as The Hero, The Warrior, The Rebel, and The Femme Fatale.
A few of Bianca’s archetypes are The Healer, The Pioneer, The Nature Gal, and The Queen. As The Healer she is called to heal the pain in others and this explains why she is a Reiki Master and attracted to naturopathy. Bianca loves to travel and explore new lands. She also enjoys exploring new territory internally, in other words, personal development. This is her Pioneer archetype being expressed. Her Pioneer spirit motivated her to make the 10,000 mile (16,000 km) move away from her childhood home to another country. The Nature Gal in her has a deep connection to animals, the beach, and water. Lastly, she’s The Queen, which means she’s the one making the decisions, managing (either people or information), is the leader, in control and has authority.
Bianca’s Ex was The Networker archetype, which is social, usually charming, great to chat with, and has a large sphere of connections. Networkers are comfortable with their communication skills and enjoy sharing resources and information. However, the Ex was also The Warrior. The Warrior archetype is at the ready to fight, either verbally of physically. They’re emotionally and/or mentally strong. They’re assertive and can be aggressive. The Warrior can protect but can also be argumentative or use intimidation. I suspect Bianca’s Queen and the Ex’s Warrior clashed – two strong archetypes. The Ex was also The Princess. The Princess is usually youthful or immature and can have a sense of entitlement and/or a need to be taken care of.
Bianca’s current love (CL) exudes different energies than the Ex. One of CL’s archetypes is The Lover and Bianca is attracted to the comforting vibrations. Sometimes The Lover archetype focuses on romantic love and sexual desire. But The Lover can love in a broader sense, too, by projecting compassion, passion, loving with an open heart, and concern for all. Mother Theresa is an appropriate example of this. CL also has The Damsel archetype – the damsel in distress. The Damsel’s pattern is hoping or expecting to be rescued and the rescuing can be in the form of parents, teachers, spouses, lovers, their children, the government, or even the lottery. Damsels get overwhelmed and can’t do “it” for themselves. Interestingly, Bianca’s Queen archetype first “looked after” her Ex who was The Princess and now Bianca’s Queen “looks after” her CL who has The Damsel tendencies. One may deduce Bianca’s strength, leadership, and ability to get things done are attractive traits for some. Another archetype CL has is The Eternal Child. The Eternal Child is playful and typically enjoys the company of kids. The shadow side of an Eternal Child can be irresponsible. Bianca shared that one aspect of her current relationship that keeps things interesting is the outdoor fun her Nature Gal archetype and CL’s Eternal Child frequently experience together.
As you see, relationships can be analyzed through archetypal work. This approach reveals the unique energies of each person and clarifies what wasn’t possible before knowing each person on an energetic level.
*Bianca de Reus gave permission for her name, business, and archetypes to be shared for this article.